Why things happen

Things happen for a reason. Okay, not little things like losing your car keys, but big things. Those major events in our lives occur for a reason. When I was oh, 15 I think, I had my heart seriously broken. This did not happen to me often. I always broke up with guys. They didn't break up with me. I'm not being arrogant by saying that, it's just the way things happened. And to think, when I did get dumped, it wasn't by the football quarterback or the class president. It was by a guy who, to be honest, wasn't that popular at all. But he was mine. He was different. He didn't want to have sex, he didn't want to spend all our time making out, he wanted to talk, to write me poetry, to listen. So anyway, things end. It was nasty and mostly because of things that, as adults, would never bother us, but as teenagers held down by the thumbs of our parents, were significant.

So that happened for a reason. Everything does. You can't explain it and you can't always understand it at the time, and sometimes you think to yourself there cannot be a reason this had to happen...but it's there, somewhere. I have to belive this, you see. Otherwise I might have to face the possibility that I've just made stupid mistakes in my life. I know I have, but I believe there is a power behind those mistakes sometimes. People fall in love, they fall out of love, friends come, friends go...all for a reason.

I have one friend that I've had since the fourth grade. She is my best friend. She knows everything I've ever done, good or bad. I honestly don't think I have a single secret from her. For a while, in college, we drifted apart...we were in different cities, with different lives, but she was always there. At my first wedding, at my second wedding...when I was unsure of everything in my life...she was put here, in my life, for a reason. She's my rock.



(and on a completely different note...)
I keep wondering at the power of coincidence
And if will ever play the role I think of so often
It has been a hindrance and a pest and has
Kept wonder and wishing from being solid
Damn coincidence—if it could work in my favor
Would it be …. Would it?

One can only imagine and think thoughts that one thinks
While staring into nothingness nights
Reading between the lines, hoping what you’re reading is what you’re meant to read
Hoping you see not just what you want to see but what’s real somewhere
In a darkened office in an almost empty building
Where thoughts speak and wants aren’t just wanted
They just are.